Look At Me

Writer: Grace Noh

3:32 pm – At this very moment, my face is getting recorded through a tiny lens attached on my computer. What am I trying to do? I cannot give a solid answer. Let’s just say that I was suddenly curious to see what my face would look like when writing my thoughts out of my head.

With no make-up and in sleeping clothes, I feel quite conscious of what I look like at this very moment. Perhaps this is not purely the real face of me when I normally write, but quite close.

Am I afraid of sharing this video with people I do not know? Yes and no. Yes because I expose my face to the unknowns. No because I want people, too, to try recording their own faces when they are in thoughts. When people are in deep thoughts, their faces suddenly become fascinating to look at. Some may smile, some may frown, and some may stare at random objects. Whatever the reactions they may have, they hold unrecorded stories in their eyes. There’s something in their eyes that reveal sadness, joy, misery, excitement, and much more that I cannot fully decipher.

The feeling of starring at my own face while writing feels like taking photos of the ordinary objects in my apartment. A red hat I only wore once, my small drawing inspired by Egon Schiele, dry flowers I simply could not throw away, my new favorite pot rack in the kitchen…These ordinary objects have their own voices, voices echoed from my very own memories.

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For every object I see, I can think of a memory attached to it. It is almost as if they are the small pieces of my past in a visual form. Once I stare at them in photos, I start to see not the actual objects, but the very own memories of my past. Perhaps this is not a common way to see objects, but why not see it in a different angle?

Tilt your head and look at the sky. It will look and feel different from the same sky you’ve been looking at for your entire life. So, why not see your own face and observe how funny, serious, joyful, bored you look?

What do you look like when you’re in thoughts? Maybe it’s your time to record your own face and see for yourself.